Life with Lela

This post is all about Lela. I didn't plan it that way. I just don't see much of or hang out with my other kids. Eaden is finishing up her personal trainer certification, working as a dance instructor, and still dancing a lot. Naia is always working. Mirek is prepping for his little school experiment and finishing up his online courses. It is an accredited program for 8th grade so that he can transfer into public school without having to take credit by exam. He will have the same counselor as Taven. I guess they go by last name instead of grade. I am happy about that because he is the one person at the school I talk to and he is kind and helpful. Anyway, I do see my kids. We do live together. We are just not always living and learning together like we used to. It's me and Lela now. Actually, I don't see Taven. I see him for 10 minutes when I drop him off in the morning and then 10 minutes when I get home from work. I sometimes see him on weekends. Is it not mind boggling that we have normalized sending our kids away from us like this for 13 years and letting them be majority raised by their peers and random adult strangers locked inside of a building? It's so weird when you stop and think about it! Apparently, very few people think about it. 

I had a rewards system going with Lela, but it fizzled out after a few weeks. It was ultimately ineffective, not to mention too expensive. I should have known that learning doesn't work that way. Obviously, I do know. It was a constant struggle to wake her up for lessons, but so simple when it was for a bike ride. Lela has to find intrinsic motivation. Rewards, punishments, because I said so, do not lead to anything worthwhile. It will come. I am worried about her not having that family homeschool environment though and I am unsure how to replace it.

We have moved on to a more unschooling style like I have done many times in the past with my other children. Our learning comes from living life together and making things that are real and useful. For example, instead of science workbooks we may create a garden journal or keep a nature journal. Instead of writing or reading comprehension workbooks we write letters, keep a diary, and read and discuss real books. 

I do tend to stick to basic math lessons, but once the kids get to the higher math it is up to them if they want to continue or at least at what pace they want to continue. However, Julie Bogart put out a new podcast yesterday about building math confidence through life, play, and curiosity. I've already read a lot about that sort of thing, but it has seemed easier for me to stick to a short lesson per day from a structured curriculum. I know I need to branch out and become more creative when it comes to math. We will see... I will check out the podcast.

Lela is active. She wants to play both outside and inside. She loves to ride bikes, hike, play board and card games, make art, imaginative play, etc. I am trying to include her in everything I do like shopping, cooking, gardening and household chores. The older kids will say things like "mom make her do her lessons" or "you didn't let us do that."  I think they are delusional because I most certainly did let them "do that." A huge difference in how we homeschool is that we used to do a lot as a group. It was fun and loud and there was a community. Lela is alone. Also, there were most certainly long chunks of time where all of the kids experienced a more unschooling style.

I think about what Lela does enjoy and build on that. Besides what I mentioned above, she does enjoy me reading to her, now space/astronomy sine the Artemis mission, and writing letters back and forth with me. I think gameschooling could be something she really enjoys. There was a mom blogger years back who had an entire blog devoted to gameschooling. Her blog was My Little Poppies (which seems to have been hacked). I don't want to spend a bunch of money (any money), but we do still have a game closet I can revisit.                                 

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Some quotes from books I've been reading...

Emerson: "Speak what you think now in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradicts everything you said today...Insist on yourself; never imitate...[I am always telling myself not to speak because I change my mind constantly.]

Stolen Focus By Johann Hari: "People who can't focus will be more drawn to simplistic authoritarian solutions-and less likely to see clearly when they fail...[I would say school with it's bells and rushing to wake up and get ready and not getting enough sleep contributes to the same stolen focus as social media]...What we are sacrificing is depth in all sorts of dimensions...Depth takes time. And depth takes reflection...We need to strip out our distractions and to replace them with sources of flow...How do you find meaning when your day is filled, from 7AM to 9PM when you go to bed, with somebody else's idea of what's important?...If your attention is constantly managed by other people, how can it develop? [Naia and Mirek were talking about flow states a while back at the ice rink. Mirek was practicing stopping over and over and said he got into a flow state. Then Naia said her and a co-worker got into a flow state at work and it was "crazy." Mirek said he also gets into flow states at MMA.]

I Love Learning, I Hate School By Susan Blum: "A four year college degree required to work at the MET, mostly guaranteed the hiring of a middle class employee...What you need to know can be learned by trying to do it...Outside school, where do deliberately misleading options present themselves in time limited form?...[Taven complained about the multiple choice questions like this immediately after starting school]. Test prep advice may be useful but it has very little to do with actually learning anything...

Reasons Not To Worry By Brigid Delaney: "To work out how to live well, to really think about what a good life meant, was a solid investment in our one unique life [paper idea for Mirek and Naia]...

How To Do Nothing By Jenny O'Dell: "Bioregionalist thought encompasses practices like habitat restoration and permaculture farming, but has a cultural element as well, since it asks us to identify as citizens of the bioregion as much as (if not more than) the state. Our 'citizenship' in a bioregion means not only familiarity with the local ecology but a commitment to stewarding it together... Our very idea of productivity is premised on the idea of producing something new, whereas we do not tend to see maintenance and care as productive in the same way...[I love the idea of maintenance. I can take pride in maintaining what I have (home, garden, etc.) instead of always looking to upgrade or replace.]

Dumbing Us Down By John Taylor Gatto (reread): "Right now we are taking from our children all the time that they need to develop self-knowledge...I am confident that as they gain self-knowledge they'll also become self-teachers and only self teaching has any lasting value...Alienation from community life quickly causes indifference to almost everything...

The Underground History of American Education By John Taylor Gatto: "Education is a helix sport, a unique personal project...If you aren't making it up as you go along, you aren't doing it right...All pedagogical theory is based on stage theories of human development. All stage theories of child rearing talk in averages. The evidence before your own eyes and ears must show you that average men and women don't actually exist. Yet they remain the basis of social theory, even though such artificial constructs are useless to tell you anything valuable about your own implacably non-abstract child...

"I don't think humanity has evolved to the point of being able to comprehend what we're looking at right now." -Artemis II astronaut Reid Wiseman

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A typical dinner.

I enjoyed the Sunday Chronicle and there were enough games in there to last me months. I prefer getting my news this way. Slow, local, and fact checked. Not so much the 24 hour "breaking news" and certainly not the attention sucking rage inducing no nuance forms on social media.

Hike at the creek nearby.

Tennis on the weekend at Taven's school.

The Arboretum.

Easter art.

She watched some Bob Ross.

I printed out pictures from my Instagram download and started a picture album. I only printed 100 of the thousands but it is so much more than we ever had growing up.

Letters Lela and I have been writing to each other.

I am fully re reading my road trip/unschooling posts and they are making me a little upset. Like I lost that way of life. I know it came when the older kids found their passion and that started taking up so much time, but how is that fair for Lela? It's not. And now I have this dang job, which I need to pay off this stupid credit card, but I cannot ever go camping. I may get a weekend off, but I don't find out until the week before and weekends are often full at campgrounds months in advance. I never get off weekdays except Friday. I might get off next Monday and could do a last minute Sunday-Tuesday trip...

Update! I got off on a Monday!! We were able to camp last minute at Brazos Bend! My next goal is Garner before summer...

Fall Happenings

We finally got a new roof and had our rotten siding, soffit, and fascia replaced. We also replaced all of the siding on the back of the house. There was pretty much no siding around the side of our chimney where water was pouring on it. We need to replace more siding, but that will have to wait. I am very excited about the work we did do though and I have planted some more flowers, herbs, added mulch, etc. We threw away accumulated junk and I dug up grass near the fence line and planted a butterfly garden. We straightened the pergola which was about to fall over.

I finished reading Fahrenheit 451 to Naia and Mirek and we watched the HBO movie. The book inspired some good discussions. Lela and I finished Ways to Grow Love and she really liked it. We are now reading The Storm by Cynthia Rylant. We are still working on our Story of Stuff and Critical Thinking units. Naia, Mirek, and I are reading the graphic novel version of The Iliad and reading about ancient Greek and Roman history. Mirek and Naia both enjoy mythology, Percy Jackson, etc. Mirek is currently reading Vinland Saga which has a lot of Norse mythology. We also had a brief discussion on Thomas Paine's Age of Reason and Christian mythology. I am sad to be handing Mirek off soon and this is likely the last couple of months we will have together before he moves to online school. 

Lela finished AAR Level 2 and her reading is really taking off. It is so interesting for me to see. She is nine. This is considered a very late reader by many. At my work, we have kids in 2nd and 3rd grade come in not able to read. These are seven and eight year olds. My co workers cannot believe it. They think their parents are negligent, the schools have failed them, etc. I think these kids are young and are not ready. Or they simply need one on one instruction and a lot of repetition. The only horrible thing that could happen to your child because she learned to read at 8 or 9 and not 5 or 6, is internalizing the labels adults have put on her of slow or stupid or behind. And obviously she may come to associate reading with hate and frustration. Not what we want. Sure there are kids that pick up reading naturally at four or five. I have a few of these kids at my work as well (and Eaden was this way). But we cannot force all kids onto that same path. It doesn't work and it only causes harm. If we want kids to love reading we don't torture them through learning it. We read to them until they show an interest. Then we follow their lead, meet them where they are, and do so with patience and a positive attitude.

I really need to reign in my book situation. I have probably twenty I am reading. I came up with a system for myself. One fiction, one historical, one spiritual (for me that often means about nature/science), one on education, and any related primary sources. I don't think this system is going to work...

I spend a lot of time thinking about how I want to live, how to organize my days, how much I read, drink, exercise, get on social media, what I eat, etc. I experiment with completely abstaining and then sometimes that leads to then overconsuming. For me, I believe in, but don't always practice, moderation. It's a struggle and I just want it to become habitual already. Right now I am trying to focus on writing my thoughts and asking my questions. Not just writing down the work of others (commonplace journal). I am also continually thinking if the way we homeschool is best. I also think a lot about public schools and private schools and charter schools. More so now that I have a kid and am about to have another in public school. I feel like there is always a better way we could do things if we just get our minds unstuck and become more creative. We need to think way out of the box. 

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From Homespun Mom Comes Unraveled by Shannon Hayes: "And when the people who were closest to the departed can find ways to share their memories with the subsequent generations, their sharing is truly a gift-one that will not wind up in a landfill, that will not pollute the skies, that will not clutter a home, that will always fit perfectly, and will last through time...And as I raise my own children and guide them into this fast-changing world, those collected experiences will enrich our family's bank of wisdom, and become one of the sweetest gifts I've known."

And that is why I blog. To share and pass down stories. What we did, where we went, how we felt. I have 15 or 16 years of blog memories now. I would never have remembered what happened if I had not documented it. I truly think it's the best gift I can give my kids. Even if they don't want me to take their picture as much now or I have made much of what I wrote private, it is still there for them and they still go back and read it often.

From The End of Education by Neil Postman: It is better to have access to more than one profound truth. To be able to hold comfortably in one's mind the validity and usefulness of two contradictory truths is the source of tolerance, openness, and, most important, a sense of humor, which is the greatest enemy of fanaticism...What kind of public does public schooling create?...Any education that promotes a near exclusive concern with one's own group may have value, but is hostile to the idea of a public education and to the growth of a common culture...Sameness is the enemy of vitality and creativity...The law of diversity makes intelligent humans of us all...The history of learning is an adventure in overcoming our errors...There is no sin in being wrong. The sin is in our unwillingness to examine our own beliefs, and in believing that our authorities cannot be wrong...It holds out the hope for students to discover a sense of excitement and purpose in being part of the Great Conversation...Is the idea of a 'public school' irrelevant in the absence of the idea of a public, that is, Americans are now as different from each other, have so many diverse points of view, and such special group grievances that there can be no common vision or unifying principles...

From Age of Reason by Thomas Paine: You will do me justice to remember, that I have always strenuously supported the right of every man to his opinion, however different that opinion might be to mine. He who denies to another this right, makes a slave of himself to his present opinion, because he precludes himself the right of changing it...The word of God is in the creation we behold: and it is in this word, which no human invention can counterfeit or alter, that God speaketh universally to man...Human language is incapable of being used as an universal means of unchangeable and uniform information, and therefore it is not the means that God useth in manifesting himself universally to man...The Almighy Lecturer, by displaying the principles of science in the structure of the universe, has invited man to study and to imitation...Speaking for myself, if I had no other evidence that the Bible is fabulous than the sacrifice I must make to believe it to be true, that alone would be sufficient to determine my choice...We should never force belief upon ourselves in anything...The most detestable wickedness, the most horrid cruelties, and the greatest miseries that have afflicted the human race have had their origin in this thing called revelation, or revealed religion. It has been the most dishonorable belief against the character of the Divinity, the most destructive to morality and the peace and happiness of man, that ever was propagated since man began to exist...What is it the Bible teaches us?-rapine, cruelty, and murder. What is it the Testament teaches us?-to believe that the Almighty committed debauchery with a woman engaged to be married, and the belief of this debauchery is called faith...What is it we want to know? Does not the creation, the universe we behold, preach to us the existence of an Almighty Power that governs and regulates the whole?...But the belief of a God is so weakened by being mixed with the strange fable of the Christian creed and with the wild adventures related in the Bible, and of the obscurity of obscene nonsense of the Testament, that the mind of man is bewildered as in a fog. Viewing all these things in a confused mass, he confounds fact with fable, and as he cannot believe all, he feels a disposition to reject all...A man, by hearing all this nonsense lumped and preached together, confounds the God of the creation with the imagined God of the Christians, and lives as if there were none...

From Teaching as a Subversive Activity by Neil Postman: All authorities get nervous when learning is conducted without a syllabus...Good learners can change their minds. Changing the character of their minds is what good learners are most interested in doing. Good learners are not fast answerers. They tend to delay their judgments. Good learners almost always have a point of view about a situation, but are capable of shifting to other perspectives to see what they can find. Good learners know how to ask meaningful questions; they are persistent in examining their own assumptions, they are apt to be cautious and precise in making generalizations, and they engage continually in verifying what they believe...[Curriculum] is largely designed to keep students from knowing themselves and their environment in any realistic sense; which is to say, it doesn't allow inquiry into most of the critical problems that comprise the content of the world outside the school...We do not think it unreasonable to suggest that there are many influential people who would resent such questions being asked-in fact, would go to considerable trouble to prevent their being asked. Such people depend heavily on the continuing irrelevance of most school curricula...Quotes from others within the book-Man comes pretty close to living in a house that language built...The universe is not only stranger than we suppose; it is stranger than we can suppose...

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Baking pumpkin cookies for Tuesday Teatime.

Lela and I have been reading a new page in our Usborne history encyclopedia each day. We are just now getting to the death of the dinosaurs.

Math explorations.

We finally had our book party for Year of the Dog. We ate at a Chinese restaurant and went to Hong Kong Market to get some Chinese candy. The M&Ms are part of the storyline in the book. 

Hanging out with Ella at the Arboretum.

Then to the water wall for a picnic.

More football. Only one game left, and so far, no major injuries. Knock on wood.

Lela's creation.